No train, no bus, no problem.
2. Not being able to decide which brand/variety of apples to buy
Organic? Braeburn? Those really small apples made for children that are somehow patented? No choice, no problem.
3. Problems with online groceries orders
While working for an upmarket supermarket's customer care department, I grew experienced in profusely apologising for late deliveries, early deliveries, missing vol-au-vents, unacceptable cat litter brand substitutions, and the fact that if your iPad is not cooperating with the website you might have to go into the other room and turn your computer on. No such thing, no such problem!
4. Having to wait 3 days to see a well-qualified doctor free of charge
No such thing, no such wait! See also: extortionate prescription charges
5. Health and safety regulations
No, I do not have to wear closed-toe shoes in the workplace!
 |
| And neither do they! |
He doesn't need 'em.
7. Being halfway between a size 8 and a size 10
If the clothes are all one size, if it doesn't fit, it doesn't fit.
8. Being woken up by car alarms, police sirens, or fire engines
Nope, you can commit crimes and burn down houses without disturbing but the barest minimum of people.
9. Free newspapers and pizza menus taking up space on the doormat
No address, no letterbox, no problem!
10. "Unexpected item in bagging area"
The bagging area never expects any items.
